It's Not Okay

We've all been in this situation before.  For some of us, it goes a little something like this; it's a typical day at the office and we're sitting at our desks in front of our computers working away, or perhaps sitting in a meeting with our colleagues when, out of nowhere, that email pops into our inbox.  Or, from a different perspective, we walk into work and head to the back room to prepare for our shift.  As we're clocking in, we look up at the announcements board and see that flyer plastered on the wall.  We open the email and we read the flyer: Mandatory sexual harassment training on this day at that time.  All employees MUST attend.  So, we reluctantly attend the meeting (because it's mandatory), with the expectation that it will likely be a waste of time, since many of us clearly know what constitutes as harassment and that it's wrong.  I understand why these meetings and training sessions are required in the workplace, but I think it's a shame that we live in a world where these sessions are necessary.  We're supposed to be grown adults.  This shit isn't rocket science.  Don't harass people.  Don't make them feel uncomfortable.  It should be common sense.  You'd think that people would know better, but unfortunately this is not the case.  Even in this day and age, and even after all the stories that have gone viral over the years, sexual harassment, sexism, and sexual abuse are still, to put it bluntly, big fucking problems in our society.  Sorry for the rude word, but it's the truth.

Sadly, these issues are ever present in today's world, including the world of endurance sports.  Over the years I've heard numerous stories from my former wife and female friends about being harassed by men while running and hiking alone.  Even on social media, men have the audacity to make offensive and disgusting comments on girls' photos, which is not only idiotic, because they're making themselves look like complete dirt bags to hundreds of millions of people, but more importantly, it's just plain hurtful.  Several female public figures in the endurance sports community have spoken out about being harassed by men.  Catra Corbett once spoke on social media about some guy on Mount Whitney telling her that she was "inappropriately dressed to summit" in reference to the running skirt that she was wearing, while not saying a word to the men on the trail wearing shorts.  This moron clearly didn't know who he was dealing with.  Catra Corbett has summitted Mount Whitney numerous times and has run over two hundred and fifty ultramarathons.  In "Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail" a novel written by Cheryl Strayed, she discusses her experience of being harassed by two male hunters in the California wilderness while attempting to purify water for drinking.  According to the book, the encounter made her so uncomfortable, she feared for her safety.  There is a section of the novel "Born To Run" where author Chris McDougall recounts a particular year at the Leadville 100-miler where several Tarahumara men participated.  Throughout the race, the men all referred to Ann Trason, who was also running the race, and is arguably the most elite ultrarunner of all time, as "La Brujita" (the little witch) because they were jealous of her talent.  I understand that this is a story, and it could have been exaggerated for entertainment value, but I don't care if these guys are amazing runners.  They shouldn't have acted that way.  And by the way, Ann beat all of those chumps and gave the following statement to the press at the finish line: "Sometimes it takes a woman to bring out the best in a man". 

While these stories are upsetting, what happened in Georgia earlier this month is downright appalling.  For those who don't know the story,  a young female reporter who works for a TV station in Savannah, Georgia was covering live footage of a local community 5K race.  As she stood on the bridge and spoke into the microphone on the side of the road, runners came up behind her waiving at the camera and cheering.  It was all in good fun until some guy ran up behind her, slapped her on the butt, and kept running as if nothing happened.  She was visibly upset and embarrassed, but to her credit, she only paused for a couple of seconds and looked off in shock before continuing to speak to the camera.  The less humanitarian side of me would have loved it if she dropped the microphone, ran after this guy, and beat the living hell out of him for what he did.  But that would not have made this situation any better.  Instead she did the more rational thing, and later that day, she addressed the incident on her Twitter account and hundreds of thousands of people expressed their sympathy and support for her on social media.  Thanks to the video footage of the inappropriate act, which has now been viewed over eleven million times on the internet, and the help of people within the community, authorities were able to identify the man, and he has now been arrested and charged with sexual battery.  Do I believe he deserves what he's getting? Absolutely, 150%.  I have no idea what this guy was thinking about, or why he thought it was okay to do such a thing, but I can't grasp how brazen, foolish, and disgusting that was.  I'd also like to add that this guy is forty-four years old.  Old enough to know better, and almost double the age of the female reporter.  And, to all the idiots out there who are defending him, I suggest you get with the program and wise up to the way the world works.  Stop living in your little fairy tale of a world where you believe he was just "being friendly" and "joking around".  Get over yourself.  What he did was not okay and beyond inappropriate.

Some people may wonder why I feel so strongly about this.  Why do I give a damn about this so much that I would write and publish a blog post about it?  Well, there's a couple of reasons.  The first and simpler reason is I grew up with a lot of awesome women in my life.  These women include my mother, who passed way fourteen years ago and I miss everyday, my younger sister, several girl cousins, several aunts, and two grandmas, at least for part of my life.  So needless to say, I learned very early in life to always be respectful.  Even despite the fact that my former wife and I are no longer together, we still remain on good terms.  The second, and perhaps more complex reason is this;  life is full of obstacles and setbacks.  Living life is overcoming them.  Given what I've been through in my life, this statement could not be more relevant in my situation.  Millions of people around the world share the same sentiment.  We all work hard every day to be get over the struggles in our lives, whatever they may be.  We all work hard to be happy and live our best life.  Nobody.  I repeat, NOBODY should ever get in the way of someone else trying to be happy and enjoy life.  Perpetrators of sexual harassment, sexism, and sexual abuse are putting a significant damper on their victim's happiness level and quality of life.  And, quite frankly, that angers the hell out of me.

The bottom line is we, as a people, need to put a stop to all of this.  These issues have been going on for far too long, and it seems people aren't getting the message.  So I will say this;  anyone, woman or man (because it happens to guys too, it just doesn't get reported as often) who has experienced such treatment at work, while running, hiking, or anywhere else, please speak up.  Share your feelings and your story.  Raise awareness.  Many of these incidents go unreported and a decent percentage of the public likely doesn't know the severity of these issues.  After the race was over the reporter posted the following message on Twitter: "To the man who smacked my butt on live TV this morning: You violated, objectified, and embarrassed me. No woman should EVER have to put up with this at work or anywhere!! Do better."  Well put.  Do Better.  The next time people think about saying or doing something inappropriate to someone of the opposite sex, I would encourage them to stop being impulsive and think about what they're doing.  Think about how this will affect the other person.  What if someone said or did something like that to your mother, daughter, niece, or sister?  If something seems like it's inappropriate, just don't say or do it.  Period.  Be kind to one another.  Support one another.  To put it simply, just don't be a slimy douche bag.  Thank you!