You Don't Always Have To Follow The Rules

For most people, their teenage years and early twenties are a fun, exciting, wild, but also awkward period of time in their lives.  It's the time in our lives when we're supposed to be having the most fun, but we're simultaneously going through that somewhat uncomfortable stage in our lives where we're trying to find ourselves and discover who we really are.  We try so hard to fit in, hide our insecurities, and we care way too much about what other people think and how they interpret us.  I would have to say I was no different.  During my high school and college years, I was always wondering what other people thought of me and I worried about how well I fit in.  But for most people, there comes a time in life where they stop caring about what others think, and they're no longer afraid to completely be themselves.  Their concern about other people's opinions slowly melts away, and they strip themselves of the social barriers they built up during their formative years.  It takes a certain level of maturity for people to realize that we're all different in our own way, and that's what makes us unique, so why not embrace it?  This phase often begins when people are in their mid-twenties and continues throughout the rest of their lives. 

For as long as I can remember, I've always been different.  I've had several amazing groups of friends throughout my entire life, and I've always gotten along well with my family, but even among them, I was unique.  As a kid and a young teenager living in the Midwest, I watched, as so many other kids around me seemed to just go with the herd.  They did what they were supposed to do.  They didn't question anything, they didn't step out of line.  They watched college football inside all day on Saturdays, played football and basketball, dressed a certain way, and listened to classic rock and hip hop.  Even though some of my best friends fell into this category, I quickly realized that wasn't for me at all.  I wanted to have some fun.  I wanted to be a rebel.  Instead, I snowboarded, played tennis, rode my bike, listened to punk rock, and wore black t-shirts with rock n' roll imagery printed on them.  My father has always been a die hard Red Wings and University of Michigan football fan.  I loved watching hockey because of it's fast pace playing style and the excitement of the game itself, but I could never get into football.  It was boring to me.  I've been a Red Wings fan all my life, and I love hockey.  I tried for years, all the way into my early twenties to get as excited for football games as my family and friends did, but the excitement was never truly there.  I do watch football from time to time, but I'm often neutral in terms of who I root for.

I struggled to find my identity as a kid.  I wanted to be myself, but I also cared about what others thought of me.  As my sister would put it, I "went through more phases than probably anyone she knew".  During my high school and college years, I, like so many others, tried to hide my differences in an effort to be accepted.  I abandoned the rock n' roll t-shirts, wore preppier clothes, and cranked rap music in my car.  I pretended to care about football and basketball more than I actually did (I was a hockey fan), and generally just tried to fit in.  The same Liam was always there, but my true self was concealed in a shell.  It was around when I turned twenty-four that I finally just decided to say "the hell with it" and let my true self shine.  Once I did, it was incredibly liberating.  Shortly after college, most of the guys I went to school with were settling back into their hometowns, proposing to their girlfriends, and some were even married already and talking about having children.  "I'm moving to California" I would tell people.  I was happy for my friends and wished them the best, but I didn't want to follow the herd.  I wanted to do my own thing, and do what I wanted.  Some people simply didn't believe me.  It's not that they were questioning my ambition, it's just that the thought of moving to California was so far from their snow globe of a world, that they just couldn't fathom it.  Other people encouraged me, and others said I shouldn't do it because they didn't want me to live so far away.  But in March of 2012, after several years of trying, I finally realized my California dream.  I left Chicago, where I was living at the time, and permanently relocated to Los Angeles.  I never looked back. 

Even now, as a thirty-two year old man, I'd rather follow my passions and live an exciting life than do what I'm supposed to do in a conventional world.  Certainly it's not unheard of for people in a traditional world to run 10K races or half marathons, but running fifty miles on trails through the mountains is a feat that most people in a normal world can't wrap their heads around.  I run ultramarathons simply because I love to run, but it's also a subconscious way of rebelling against the world that says we all have to be a certain way.  The world that says we should follow the rules and stay in line.  The world that says I shouldn't run ultramarathons because it's not normal.  The same world that surrounded me during my youth.  Fortunately, I've had great support from my family and friends along the way, even if they don't quite understand my lifestyle.  I've broken the rules of living in a traditional world all my life, and I would encourage everyone else to do the same.  No one should ever give up on their dreams because they feel like it's not the right thing to do.  And similarly, no one should ever tell you that you shouldn't do what you want in life because it's silly or not normal.  As Dean Karnazes said in his third book "follow dreams, not rules".  Find your passion, and stick with it.  We only have one life to live, and I'm damn sure not going to waste it away by being miserable in an ordinary world where I just do what I'm told!