Any Day Now

As I prepared to write this post, I saw on blogger.com that the last post I published about my choice to skip Broken Arrow was on June 17th, six weeks ago.  I've had long lapses between blog posts in the past, but it's very rare that I go more than a month without writing something new.  The reason why it took me six weeks to write a new post is, well, simply put, I've been busy.  I certainly have a lot to write about these days, but with all of the time I've been putting in to prepare for our little dude to arrive, it's been challenging to find time to get my thoughts down in writing.  Since I have some free time on this lovely Sunday afternoon, now is a perfect opportunity. 

Aidan's arrival is pretty much expected to be any day now.  Our due date is August 4th, and as I type this, today is July 31st.  Essentially, Sam has an eighty percent chance of going into labor between today and a week from tomorrow, according to the good folks at Palo Alto Medical Foundation.  Are we ready for this?  I like to think so, but I honestly don't know for sure.  I like to think that becoming a dad at thirty-six years old, I have more life knowledge than I did nine or ten years ago, so that will hopefully work in my favor.  I've certainly been through a lot in the last ten years and I like to think that I've become much more emotionally intelligent as a result.  Over the last several months we've acquired either on our own or through friends and family just about every baby accessory I can think of.  These accessories have been neatly stacked up in their boxes near the crib parts in the corner of our bedroom.  It was essentially a small mountain of baby stuff so I decided to name it the "Casc-Aidan Range".  This was derived from borrowing the name of the Cascade Range in Canada, Washington, Oregon, and Northern California and inserting my future son's name into it.  I gave the individual items names as well, such as Bassinet Ridge, Diaper Pass, Crib Summit, and Swaddle Peak.  I considered taking a photo of the whole thing before we de-constructed it to unbox and put away the items, but ultimately that didn't happen.  The good thing about de-constructing the Casc-Aidan Range was that it gave us the comfort of knowing that we have just about everything that he is going to need, for the first several months anyways.  

How is Sam doing?  She's been kicking ass, and I'm not exaggerating or saying that because she's my fiancé.  She looks great, and she's generally been taking this whole thing like a champ.  She's complained about virtually nothing, seems genuinely happy to be having a baby, and seemingly actually enjoys being pregnant.  Okay, she's been pretty over it for the past week or so, but at this point I don't think anyone would really blame her.  If I stuffed a thirty pound beach ball in my shirt and tried going about my daily life I'm sure it wouldn't be a cake walk.  Through it all, she's transformed Paws and Claws from a single person dog walking and pet sitting service into a full on business.  The results have been extraordinary.  Additionally, she has remained physically active and taken good care of her health.  She's been doing very well throughout the pregnancy and I'm extremely proud of her.

How am I doing?  I'd say pretty good.  Becoming a first time dad takes quite a bit of preparing.  It's been quite a few months of listening to audio books, accompanying Sam to doctor appointments, acquiring all of the stuff that Aidan will need, making sure Sam is comfortable and happy, doing research, and all that good stuff.  This is all in addition to working full time ten to twelve hours a day, taking care of my health, and keeping up my physical fitness.  I managed to get a couple of races and two ultramarathons in this year so far.  Both were an awesome journey, just as they always are.  Over the last couple of months and especially recently, my weekly running mileage has gone down, but I'm still charging along.  I've been getting out to do more trail runs near our home in Sunnyvale and I still try to go for a long run either on Saturday or Sunday morning once a week.  It's not only good for my physical fitness, but also my mental health.  I've also been going to the gym downstairs in our building three or four times a week for the last four months to work on building upper body strength, which as been helpful in it's own way.  As for paddling, I've only gotten out once so far this year, but hopefully more opportunities will present themselves before we head into snow season again.  Even though we've both been busy, Sam and I have also managed to maintain a pretty solid social life as well, especially with our friends who have babies or young children.

What does the future look like?  That is the million dollar question, and a question I've been pondering daily for a long time.  My situation is not unique.  Millions of people are becoming first time parents all over the world all the time.  But the reality is there is a lot of uncertainty right now.  And I don't do too well with uncertainty.  I'll admit, sometimes I think about the future a little too much and I need to remind myself to live in the present and enjoy the moment.  I've gotten better with it over the years, but it's still not easy sometimes.  This uncertainty mainly consists of what it's going to be like being a dad.  Will Sam be okay during the labor?  Will the delivery go smoothly?  Will Aidan be a mellow dude or will he be fussy?  Will I be able to take him places?  Will he have any medical conditions like colic?  As he gets older, what is his personality going to be like?  What will he be into?  These are all questions that cannot be answered at this moment, and that's okay.  They'll answer themselves in time.  I will say though that I fully intend to be out and about with him as much as safely possible.  Even though Sam and I will both be spending time with him, I hope to have lots of dad and son time to allow Sam to get some rest and allow for some fun bonding time.  I will never force running, hiking, snow boarding, cross country skiing, paddling, or any of my other hobbies and passions on him.  I certainly plan on exposing him to all of that, but who knows if he'll like it or not.  He might grow up thinking that it's cool that his mom and dad are runners, but he may hate running himself.  Sam and I intend to give him a very outdoors oriented childhood with lots of runs in the stroller, but whatever he ultimately ends up developing a passion for, he has our support.  For now, I intend to keep up my running and fitness training when Aidan arrives, and hopefully incorporate caring for him into it.  My weekly mileage will be pretty low for a little while, but I hope to stay in shape and keep the running going as I go through the challenges of being the dad to an infant dude.  In terms of when I'll be racing again, that's hard to determine right now, but hopefully by the end of this year, if not, early next year.

Here I go again jumping too far into the future.  The most important thing is what is happening now.  Right now, as said above, and as the title of this piece implies, he could come any day.  Although he is showing no signs of wanting to leave Sam's womb, at least today, but we'll see how the rest of the week goes.  Once he arrives, I'm going to be taking three weeks off work, which will be nice.  It'll be good to focus on the little dude and Sam without the pressure of having to do work.  In the mean time, we'll keep preparing for his arrival and living our lives.  The next time I write a post, I'll probably have a kid.  Catch you guys on the flipside and can't wait to write stories about being a Dad ultrarunner!