Monday, August 22, 2022

The First Two Weeks Of Fatherhood: What A Journey So Far


Day 1 - 8/7/2022 - Lucille Packard Children's Hospital, Palo Alto, California

Happy Birthday Aidan! Wow, dude.  Just wow.  To say that was one of the wildest days of my life would be an absurd understatement.  There are so many emotions to unpack, such a story to tell, man.  When I say it was a "wild" day, I'm using that term in the best possible context.  The emotions felt were indescribable and one must simply have had to have been there to truly understand.  The early morning began with some difficulties.  My fiancé Samantha had been steadily dilating throughout the night, however after several hours in active labor, she was still only seven centimeters dilated.  She was having difficulty reaching the required ten centimeters to have our little dude pass through the birth canal.  She was on an epidural, and was having strong contractions.  All of the normal things you'd expect during this stage of labor, but since she was not dilating any further, each contraction was causing Aidan's heart rate to drop.  Each time that happened the nurses came into our room and had Sam switch positions, including being on all fours, in an attempt to reposition Aidan and get his heart rate back up.  That sucked.  It was very uncomfortable for Sam and it was hard seeing her in distress, but she took it like a champ.  

At around 7:00 AM after arriving at the hospital about eleven hours earlier, we were advised by the staff that the best route to take would be a cesarean section (C-section).  Sam was still not dilated enough, and attempting to have a traditional vaginal birth at this point would put both her and Aidan's health at risk.  Sam was scared and not happy that she would need a C-section, but we agreed to it, per the staff's advice.  I sat next to Sam in the surgery room behind the curtain while they operated on the other side.  I held her hand, assured her that everything was okay, and within minutes, the staff handed Aidan over to us.  Upon seeing this little dude for the first time, I immediately began crying.  Sam was ecstatic and overjoyed as she held him, as was I.  She was likely too out of it to cry, but me? Forget it man.  I was sitting there sobbing like a child.  I've had a lot of highs and lows in my life, but this experience was truly emotional and life changing.  Like I said above, one must experience it first hand to truly understand.  He was officially born at 8:52 AM on Sunday 8/7/2022, measuring nineteen inches, and weighing seven pounds, three ounces.

The rest of the day was exciting, but also a blur.  After they sowed Sam back up, we spent about an hour in the recovery area.  The nurses monitored Sam and Aidan while I took some pictures.  We were soon sent from the recovery area to our room in the maternity section, where we would be spending the rest of our visit.  It was Sunday morning and we were due to be discharged on Wednesday 8/10/2022.  We finally made it to our room at around 11:30 AM.  Aidan was pretty quiet for most of the day.  The nurses taught me how to swaddle him so both of his arms would be secure, and advised that we needed to feed him every two to three hours, not exceeding four hours between feeding.  I also had the honor of changing my first diaper.  I'll tell you man, once you change a few diapers and swaddle your baby a few times, it becomes pretty routine.  Still, I wanted to master the skill of wrapping him up just right so his arms would be secure.  When wrapped properly he resembled a little human shawarma.  Or a burrito, as Sam put it. 

There were phone calls made and texts exchanged with family and friends throughout the day.  The nurses stopped by frequently to tend to Sam and Aidan, we ordered meals from room service, and took naps.  Most importantly, we reveled in the joy of our little dude finally entering the world.  He was born with a pretty impressive amount of dark hair.  Since Sam and I both have dark hair, and quite a bit of it I might add, I guess it was to be expected.  Even though a lot happened on that first day and night, I will never forget it.  We were now a party of three and I couldn't have been happier!

Day 2 - 8/8/2022 - Lucille Packard Children's Hospital, Palo Alto, California

Second day of being a dad, and it's so awesome!  I can't stop looking at him.  He's just such a sweet little dude.  Sam and I walked him for a few laps around the maternity ward today and I wanted to show him off and introduce him to everyone.  The day started out with some early morning feeding, and we eventually ordered breakfast for ourselves.  I have to hand it to the kitchen at this hospital.  They whip up some pretty damn good meals.  I also discovered, much to my delight, that there was a small kitchenette down the hall with a Keurig coffee machine.  Next to it was a larger machine that dispensed drinking water, along with a small pantry of crackers, condiments, and soup broth.  Despite the sleep deprivation, I was surprised what a little coffee and breakfast can do to improve a guy's hazy mood.  Sam is continuing to heal pretty well from her C-section surgery.  Aidan got a hearing test today, which he passed.  He also got his Hepatitis B shot, his first bath, and he was circumcised in the afternoon.  Right after his bath and before he went into surgery the nurses gave his hair a pretty dope combover, which seemed fitting.  

Nighttime of day 2 was pretty busy.  All of the nurses have been super helpful so far and we had heard from them that this night could particularly be restless due to what they call "cluster feeding".  Sam has been breastfeeding Aidan every two to three hours, but during cluster feeding, he may want to feed every hour, or even continuously.  This is because he is getting the hang of latching onto Sam's breast for feeding.  Even from the beginning, he it seemed to come naturally to him.  But now that it's day two and he's getting the process down, he wants to feed more.  Pretty wild how nature works sometimes.  He just knows.

Day 3 - 8/9/2022 - Lucille Packard Children's Hospital, Palo Alto, California

Man, this cluster feeding thing is no joke.  Aidan fed probably about once an hour from 11 PM the night before until around 4:30 AM this morning.  He got a little fussy after the last feeding, but I held him in my arms and propped my back up against the couch arm with pillows behind my back, holding him tightly against me.  Eventually the little dude drifted back off to sleep and I was nodding off as well.  Finally, around 5 AM, I gently put him back into the bassinet.  He, Sam, and I all slept for another two and a half hours until around 7:30 AM, which felt pretty nice.

After another morning feed at around 7:45 AM, it was breakfast time for us.  We've been getting three meals a day from the kitchen at the hospital, which as been helping me to keep my energy levels up.  Sometimes we have to balance feeding the little dude and tending to his needs with our own needs, but we've been able to pull it off so far.  Today, for instance, we fed him, I changed him, then afterwards while he was still mellow, we ate our meals.  

According to our nurse who weighed him today, he lost about 6.9% of his body weight over the last couple of days (well within the 10-12% healthy range), but since yesterday he has gained a gram of weight.  This was awesome news!  This meant that he was feeding very well and Sam was lactating phenomenally.  The staff expects babies to lose a little weight over the next several days since birth while they're learning to feed, but they eventually gain it back.  Aidan was already starting to gain it back.  Although cluster feeding could be a possibility tonight, Aidan seems to be relatively more calm than yesterday.  The phone calls and text messages from friends and family continued to roll in, and I've been super excited about all of the positive attention he's been getting.  I've never experienced anything like it.

Sam is still healing up really well.  She was a little sore from the breastfeeding today, but our nurse gave her a helpful tip of gently pulling Aidan's lower lip down a little once he latches on.  She tried that and it's made a difference.  She was even able to take a shower tonight, which isn't easy given the healing incision on her abdomen.

Day 4 - 8/10/2022 - Lucille Packard Children's Hospital, Palo Alto, California

It's discharge day!  Meaning if all goes well, we'll be going home this afternoon.  Aidan slept more soundly through the night so even though there were middle of the night feedings, we all managed to get a couple of clusters of sleep that lasted around two and a half hours, which was nice.  That was probably our best night so far, although I had a funny encounter in the early morning.  At around 7:00 AM I checked the little dude's diaper.  He needed a change, but when I finished up with him, I noticed his face and chest were wet.  I didn't know why so I asked the nurse.  Turned out he had peed all over his own face while I was changing his diaper.  In my hazy, sleep deprived state I hadn't even noticed.  Dude, you peed all over your own face LOL.  The Keurig machine in the kitchenette down the hall was still my best friend.  I made multiple trips to the kitchenette each day to refill Sam and I's water bottles, but my morning trips to the Keurig coffee machine were about a close to a religious experience as I could have gotten.

This morning was filled with multiple staff members coming in to check on Aidan and Sam, and give us helpful information for at home.  Among the visitors were nurses, pediatricians, OBGYNs, a lactation consultant, etc.  We were happy that we were being so well taken care of, but the situation was becoming restless and all three of us were ready to get the hell out of there.  The three of us got some laps in around the maternity ward after lunch and all of the nurses and staff were in awe of how cute Aidan was.  It seemed like everyone loved him, which made me love him even more than I already did.

The discharge process was rushed and not pleasant.  We completed all of our paperwork, submitted it to the hospital, stopped by the pharmacy to get Sam's pain medication, and headed home.  Aidan wasn't having any of it.  As soon as we strapped him into the car seat he protested the only way he knew how.  He cried.  A lot, man.  During the ride home Sam kept him company in the backseat while I cautiously drove through the streets of Palo Alto and down the 101 through rush hour traffic.  The poor guy was just so overwhelmed.  This was natural.  Imagine if you were being strapped into a car seat, going outside in the heat and sunshine, and riding in a car for the very first time in your life.  You'd probably be overwhelmed too.  And when you're three days old, the only way you can express the fact that you're even slightly overwhelmed, let alone super overwhelmed, is by crying up a storm, which he did the whole damn way home.

Finally after a chaotic twenty-five minutes we arrived at home, our spacious two-bedroom apartment in Sunnyvale.  Once we had Aidan situated and in his new bassinet, he instantly calmed down.  We had some Thai food for dinner, which was nice, however after dinner, things weren't so nice.  Things got a little hectic and physically painful for Sam and when we finally turned out the light for some rest it was much needed.

Day 5 - 8/11/2022

Today was our first full day home with the little dude and pretty much felt like the best of both worlds.  There were awesome moments along with incredibly frustrating ones.  From what I've understood so far, four day old babies essentially have two moods: crying and not crying. If they're happy and content, they're not crying.  But every other emotion comes in the form of crying.  They can be sad, thirsty, hungry, uncomfortable, whatever. Over time as his psychological components and personality evolve, he'll be able to express himself more effectively, but at this point, this is the only form of communication he knows.

The morning and afternoon were a lot of fun! He was getting fussy so I decided to take him out onto our balcony, which overlooks the courtyard in our apartment complex.  Within seconds of stepping outside he stopped fussing.  I sat on our balcony chair with him in my arms and he was asleep within minutes.  I wanted Sam to be able to get a nap in, so I decided to take him for a walk outside.  We walked around the courtyard and eventually went and sat in a comfy oversized lounger with pillows by the pool.  I loved every second of it! Sitting by the pool with my little dude passed out in my arms was one of the most amazing things I ever felt.  In the middle of the night we came back down to the pool and relaxed under the stars.  Aidan had just finished his 1:00 AM feeding and I wanted to get him to unwind.  He passed out in my arms as we sat there next to the lit up pool and admired the lights, stars, and full moon.  It truly was a game-changing experience.  When we eventually made it back upstairs Sam was asleep and Aidan and I both drifted off peacefully.

Day 6 - 8/12/2022

During a morning walk downstairs with Aidan I was told by our neighbors that I looked pretty well rested for being a brand new dad.  The sleep deprivation is real, don't get me wrong.  But so far I've found that getting pockets of sleep, even if I need to wake up in between, has worked out for me.  With a little coffee and calories I've been largely able to function throughout the day. 

There was an unfortunate mix-up with our pediatrician.  Our first meeting with her was supposed to be this morning, but upon arrival, we learned that we had been rescheduled for tomorrow since she had called in sick.  It was frustrating, but the little dude did great in the car seat and during the car ride.  Much better than the day we brought him home.  We decided to bring him along for a Target run while we were out.  We put his baby carrier in the shopping cart and he was knocked out the whole time.  He's such a sweet little dude, especially when he's chill.  Lots of shoppers were complimenting him.

Things were good until around 10:00 PM.  After that, all hell broke loose.  Despite several feeds and diaper changes, I was having a difficult time calming Aidan down.  I tried taking him out on the balcony and for a walk downstairs, but feeding seemed to be his only salvation.  Sam is such a trooper and I'm incredibly proud of her.  The physical toll being taken on her body was substantial.  We eventually decided to just give him a pacifier, and he finally passed out at 3:00 AM.  Thank God.

Day 7 - 8/13/2022

We're starting to get somewhat of a routine down with our little man.  Since we've gotten home, we've starting our mornings between 9:00 and 10:00 AM.  Aidan will typically get fed soon after we wake up, and I'll make coffee and breakfast for Sam and I while she's taking care of him.

We had our pediatrician appointment today.  We were relieved that he was doing well and was a healthy guy, but Sam was still concerned about the physical pain that breastfeeding was causing her.  Later that afternoon I took the little dude down to the pool for a couple of hours so Sam could get some much needed rest.  To my delight, I was able to finally get a three mile run in after dinner.  It was my first run in a week and had to be done at 10:00 PM, but it felt super awesome to unpack all of the events of the last few days over a nighttime run through the neighborhood.

The night went better than the previous night.  Aidan was calmer and we sat out by the pool again admiring the night sky while Sam slept at 3:00 A.M.  although he wasn't crying as much, getting him to sleep was a challenge.  After several feedings, including tapping into the formula so Sam could have a break, we eventually were able to get a few hours of sleep at 6:00 AM.  It's about time bro, dang. 

Day 8 - 8/14/2022

Happy one week, little man! Today was a great day.  We didn't have any appointments or anywhere to be which was nice.  Earlier this morning we decided to give Sam a break and give Aidan some formula.  Breastfeeding is best of course, however formula is perfectly okay if Mom needs a break, as confirmed by our pediatrician.  Yes, Baby's needs are important, but moms: your physical comfort and psychological well-being matter too. Same goes for the dads.  Seriously man.  In order to take care of a baby, it's important to make sure you're being taken care of as well.  Sam also pumped for the first time today, so we rotated with formula and pumped milk.  It felt good that I could finally help with feeding.

The little dude and I made a coffee run over to Philz Coffee, my favorite coffee shop and picked up some doughnuts while we were out.  I finally got to try out my new dad shirt that Sam brought for me.  What a sweet invention.  It's essentially a strongly built v-neck shirt with a kangaroo like pouch on the chest area for carrying babies up to fifteen pound from birth.  Two thumbs up, five stars, highly recommend!

That evening we joked about how maybe we can just ask Aidan to go drink some more amniotic fluid when he cries, or maybe Sam can just put him back inside the womb until he calms down.  Or maybe we can just fill a beach ball full of amniotic fluid and put him in there.  We had a lot of laughs over that.  I got to go for another run while Sam and the little dude napped, and we went for a family walk to the park as the sun was setting.  Having the three of us out for a walk was a great feeling.  I loved that Sam was getting out and moving.  This will no doubt speed up her recovery.

Tonight was definitely one of the better sleeping nights as well.  We woke up for feeding every few hours and we had our cool night pool session under the stars, but all three of us were able to get large pockets of sleep.

Day 9 - 8/15/2022

The little dude spent a lot of time outdoors today.  It's interesting, when he gets fussy and starts spazzing out, as soon as we step outside with him, he instantly calms down.  Perhaps it's the fresh air or the sounds of the outdoors.  Or he might take after his mom and dad who look to the outdoors for psychological nourishment.  Either way, it's super awesome that he seems to like it.

Sam and I both sat with him on our balcony for a while and she breastfed outside for the first time.  She was feeling better so she decided to make a go at it again.  It was less painful for her, but oddly, his feedings during the afternoon seemed to be shorter.  We were accustomed to him feeding for thirty, sometimes forty minutes.  This afternoon was a series of fifteen to seventeen minute feeds, but his diaper business was still keeping up, so we weren't too concerned.  He's been going through about three wet diapers and six dirty diapers a day on average, so a total of around ten.  I noticed some diaper rash going on earlier this morning so I began applying "butt paste" to help treat the nuisance.  

We went for another family stroll for about fifty minutes as the sun was setting.  Little dude got to enjoy the outdoors, Sam got some walking in to speed up her recovery from her C-section, and it felt good for me to go for a walk even since I didn't get a chance to run today.  Aidan looked like roadkill in his stroller bassinet; his arms and legs were spread out, his mouth open, his eyes shut.  When we returned home, I took him to the store for a grocery run while Sam took a much needed shower.  

Even though he got rest outdoors today, the little man seemed fussier than usual.  Tonight was a little chaotic.  Sam was pumping, I was trying to make dinner for all of us, and Aidan was being fussy.  Somehow the two of us managed to calm him down and eat dinner eventually.  I had an uneasy feeling about how the night was going to go.  It was midnight and he was still awake.  I held him in my arms on the couch as we watched TV and rocked him until he eventually fell asleep.  Now was our chance.  We all headed for the bedroom.  

To my amazement, all three of us slept for several hours.  We all went down around 12:20 AM and when I opened my eyes, my watch read 5:05 AM.  I was relieved and pretty rested, but also a little scared.  It had been five hours since we last fed him.  Off and on throughout the night I heard cute little whimpers, but no crying.  I sat up in the darkness and looked over at him in the bassinet.  He laid there motionless next to Sam, who was also passed out.  Clearly, we would have been woken up if he had been crying, right?  Either way, he miraculously slept quite a few hours.  We fed him at 5:20 AM and he seemed to be doing okay, although he was very sleepy.  I was looking up various articles on my phone and based on what I read, going five hours without feeding a newborn was not ideal, but not a major issue.  Damn man, the little guy really had me there for a few minutes.  Despite his drowsiness, he soiled a diaper, which brought a lot of relief to both of us.  When it was time to go back to sleep I decided to take a precaution and set an alarm for 9:00 AM, three hours from now, incase he didn't wake us up again.

Day 10 - 8/16/2022

The little dude was eating pretty good after going so long between feedings the night before.  According to multiple sources on the internet, going five hours without feeding a newborn isn't ideal, but not the end of the world.  Still, we were relieved that he was feeding well and his diaper pattern remained consistent.  

Around lunch time we all decided to go down to the pool together.  We brought our lunch downstairs to eat and got a nice spot in the shade since it was a warm day and approaching ninety degrees Fahrenheit.  Aidan did pretty well in the heat, but when he was turning red and limbs were feeling hot, we decided to head back upstairs so he could cool off.

Later on, after we caught up with some family members over the phone and on Zoom, I was able to get another three mile run in, despite the sweltering heat.  Running is a big part of my life, a part that I planned on continuing once the little dude was born.  So far, I've been able to do it, which is super rad.  Not only is it good for me physically, but it's a great psychological exercise as well.  I know Sam will be back at it shortly after she recovers.  She is also a runner and although she took a hiatus from the sport once she passed the six month mark of her pregnancy, she spent time in the gym keeping up with her fitness all the way up until giving birth.

Tonight we went on a family walk on a bike path at Rancho San Antonio Open Space Preserve (known locally as simply "Rancho").  It was still pretty warm out, but we had a pleasant stroll.  That is until the little guy became hangry.  We managed to keep him somewhat calm until we got back to the car.  Upon arrival, Sam took him into the car and breastfed him in the backseat in the parking lot at Rancho.  She's such a trooper.  It felt surreal that she was breastfeeding our kid in the parking lot of one of our local trail running stomping grounds.  It was crazy, man.  We definitely couldn't wait to share that story with our friends.

We got take out Greek food on the way home, and we managed to get Aidan to sleep relatively easily.  Tonight we made it a point to set our alarms to feed him on time throughout the night.

Day 11 - 8/17/2022

I had a therapy session this morning at 8:00 AM.  I typically go every week, but I skipped the previous week's session because Sam and I were still in the hospital.  There were a lot of stories to tell, and it felt great to unpack all of the emotions felt over the last couple of weeks with my therapist.

After my virtual session Sam and my little dude were asleep, so I took the opportunity to go for a three mile run and hit the gym downstairs afterwards.  It had been about ten days since I had gone to the gym so I did about half of my usual work out to ease back into it.  Back at our unit when I got out of the shower Sam was feeding Aidan.  Since I had gotten some "me" time in this morning, I encouraged her to get some more sleep and told her I'd take over for a while.

Little dude and I sat downstairs outside for about an hour and a half.  He slept in my lap while I sipped my coffee.  This has become a daily routine for us.  There's a shaded patio area with comfortable furniture downstairs near the pool where I've been sitting with him every morning and sipping coffee while he sleeps in my lap.  We greet passersby and most of them give him compliments.  It's a cool way to queue up a conversation with our neighbors. 

The little man seems to be into music, even at ten days old.  A popular jam we play for him are lofi hip hop instrumentals.  I love these beats and when we play them, he seems relaxed and in tune with the melodies.  When we got upstairs Sam was still getting some sleep, so we listened to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon and David Bowie's Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust.  I love these albums and he seemed to dig them too, which I thought was super rad.  We'll probably stick this type of chill music for now.  My favorite bands are Motley Crue, The Sex Pistols, and Limp Bizkit.  We can wait a little while before we introduce those bands to him LOL.  Sam is also into music and will be introducing him to Tool, her favorite band, at some point.  Who knows what kind of music he'll be into when he's older.  But either way, it would be cool if he at least appreciates our jams.

Sam got some good rest in, and that evening we all went out and ran some errands together.  After dinner Aidan was knocked out.  It was around 11:00 PM and we wanted to feed him before we all crashed before waking up for the 3:00 AM feeding.  The interesting thing was we couldn't get him to wake up.  He was okay, just in a deep sleep.  We tried tickling him, rubbing his head, and gently pulling on his limbs to no avail.  When he finally did wake up, we both exclaimed "hey buddy!".  Seems the little dude didn't quite share this enthusiasm and looked kind of pissed that we disturbed him.  Shame on us.  Before long he was being fed, and all was forgiven.  Off to bed we went.

Day 12 - 8/18/2022

The nights seem to be getting easier with our little man.  Either that or my body is adapting to the sleep deprivation.  Or maybe both.  We started out with our morning routine of waking up around 9:00 AM, followed by a feeding, breakfast for Sam and I, then coffee and chilling downstairs with Aidan while Sam took a nap.  

That afternoon we listened to some more music together (Grateful Dead's Anthem of the Sun album) and I gave him a couple of bottle feedings.  I managed to get an afternoon run and gym session squeezed in once the little dude fell asleep.  

When Sam woke up we had a conversation.  She told me that over the last few weeks she detected a small shift in my demeanor.  Even though I was still my usual self for the most part, I had become more impatient.  This was starting to get on Sam's nerves and I'm glad she said something.  Just like most dads, I don't want to baby the little dude and I want him to grow to be a strong and independent guy.  It seemed that sometimes he was being unnecessarily pampered.  That's where I was wrong.  The little guy was only eleven days old, it's not like he was five years old.  It's perfectly okay to nurture and pamper newborn babies.  That doesn't mean it has to be that way forever.  Right now he's still trying to learn how to exist in the world, and his needs have to be met.  Simple as that.  I apologized to Sam and told her I'd work on being more patient when it came to Aidan's needs.  Luckily we discussed this before it became a major issue, and we were okay after talking it through.

That night we went back to Rancho for another family walk.  Man, it was so much better than on Tuesday night.  The air was much cooler, there weren't nearly as many bugs, and the little dude was way more mellow.  We finished up our walk just after the sun set and darkness began to blanket the foothills of the Santa Cruz Mountains.

Day 13 - 8/19/2022

We had a good day today! Aidan had a follow up pediatrician appointment today at 10:30 AM.  Going into the appointment, Sam had some concerns about the little dude's shorter feedings and if he was eating enough.  His diaper patterns hadn't changed, so I was less concerned, but it I would feel more at ease once we asked the pediatrician.  He grew another three quarters of an inch and he now weighed in at seven pounds five ounces, surpassing his birth weight.  This was awesome news.  He was in "perfect health" according to the doctor, which brought both of us a great sense of relief.

When we left the building I have Sam a big hug and kiss and reminded her how much of an awesome job she was doing.  We decided to celebrate by making a family trip to Orbit Coffee Company, a Vietnamese coffee house in San Jose that we've been wanting to try.  The iced coffees and beignets sure did not disappoint.

Later that afternoon back home, we reveled in how much the little dude was evolving every day.  He was now making eye contact, making funny facial expressions, using his arms more, and making adorable, yet somewhat strange noises when he slept.  It was all very exciting to us.  If he had this much personality at twelve days old, I was eager to see how he'd be at one month and three months old.  Time would tell.

Day 14 - 8/20/2022

We awoke five hours after feeding the little dude again, but this time we weren't concerned.  The pediatrician we saw on Friday advised that there was nothing wrong with babies sleeping five or six hours throughout the night.  In fact, she had a niece who once went eight hours sleeping through the night at two weeks old.  This brought us a sense of relief.  We resumed his feeding as usual.

After some coffee and patio time, Aidan fell asleep, so once I got back up to our apartment I placed him in the bassinet next to Sam, who was also napping and drove to Rancho to go for a run.  It was mid-day and pretty warm, but I got a good three miles of bike path and trail running in.  When we got home I thought of bringing Aidan to the gym with me in the baby carrier and placing him away from all the machines and equipment while I worked out, but Sam and I determined that wasn't the best idea.  Instead we hung out by the pool while Sam took a nap.  

There were a handful of people down by the pool, which was pretty cool.  The little dude was getting a lot of attention.  He made friends with a little six month old Indian girl while her dad and I chatted.  At one point I walked over and dipped my legs into the hot tub as I sat on the side, holding him in my arms.  It was a nice moment.  It almost felt like being on vacation at a resort.  Sam and I both like to travel and we hope to bring the little dude on trips not only to local places like Lake Tahoe and Carmel, but possibly even overseas.  Sam recalls having traveled with her parents at two years old from California to her dad's hometown of Capetown, South Africa.  If her parents could do it, why couldn't we? But every kid is different.  Time would tell how well the little dude would manage traveling.

Day 15 - 8/21/2022

I was feeling a little out of it this morning.  Last night the little dude woke us up every two hours for feeding.  Cluster feeding can happen at any time during this stage and we speculated that last night was the result of him going through a growth spurt.  I felt kind of bad that the night before I kept dozing off next to Sam in bed while she was feeding Aidan.  I know there isn't much I can do to help if she's feeding, but I like to be there for moral support or in case she needs anything.  I'll try to work on staying awake from now on.

I also felt bad that Sam hadn't left the apartment the day before, so I suggested we all go have Sunday brunch after we took care of a quick errand with one of her clients.  We were out and about for three hours and ate at Metro City on Murphy Street in downtown Sunnyvale.  It was great fun! We were acquainted with some of the staff there, and they congratulated us and admired how cute the little dude was.  He received a great deal of attention from our waitress and passersby as well, since we were sitting outside by the sidewalk.  About half way through, he also wanted brunch and began fussing, so I bottle fed him at the table.  I'll tell you man, babies are super helpful for starting conversations with strangers in public.  I enjoy being out and talking with people in public, and with a baby it helps to jump start the dialogue, especially if the other person also has a baby.  I've recently found myself smiling in public whenever I see a baby, whereas a year ago, I wouldn't have thought much of it.  During my runs in the last couple of weeks I've also found myself saying hey to random people with babies and having short conversations before continuing onward.  Funny how things change when you have a kid.

Today's run was really rad.  I ran six miles, further than I had earlier in the week.  My mind was processing all of the good times and hard times over the last couple of weeks.  So many challenges, yet so many rewards.  I reveled in the experience as I ran down the Stevens Creek Trail in Mountain View.  The early evening air was warm, and Rancid's Let's Go album pumped from my headphones.  It was a pretty joyous feeling.  I managed to get twenty-one miles of running and a couple of gym workouts in during the second week, which felt great.  I've been on paternity leave from work for the last two weeks.  I have one more week left, so I better enjoy it before I weave work back into my routine.

One thing we were still concerned about were Aidan's shorter breastfeeding sessions.  He was getting enough to eat, but we were confused as to why he wasn't feeding longer.  That night he had a twent-six minute feed, which was reassuring, however we still were curious.  We had an appointment with a lactation specialist scheduled the following day, which would give us an opportunity to ask some questions and hopefully provide us with some psychological comfort.


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